me and becky

Ummm

I really don’t understand the changes on live journal… Maybe just because it’s on my phone? Anyway I really want to start using my life journal more and moving off of Facebook. For a long time I lost my love & ability of writing, I don’t know why. I’ve just kept so much inside of me and not shared it. Maybe because on Facebook I compared my ability to others and then suppressed it. I hate that I fell into that trap. I have missed the community of friends here. The diversity & real conversation. I just watched a documentary called the digital dilemma. It’s quite fascinating and scary! And I hate the thought of being manipulated. I always tell people that I have Facebook for pictures of babies and puppies. And keeping up with family. But I’m realizing that I’ve let it become more than that. Even my business is run on Facebook! Anyway I’m just randomly talking. Expect an actual update of my life to come soon

me and becky

words

I've been praying that God would give me back a desire to write more than tiny phrases at a time. I used to get so much from journaling. It was healing, it was freeing and here it was a community as well. I miss it. I know that I squandered my talent on some very unedifying words and I just want it back :)
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me and becky

We did it!!

It's taken me way too long to write it down, but it's been a crazy week and I've been sick, so I'm letting myself off the hook.

***drum roll please****

After..8ish years of blogging together and 4 years living in the same state, LeeAnn and I finally got together and did something!! And boy was it fun. LeeAnn endured dense fog and event traffic to meet me in Louisville (a whopping 20 minute drive for me) for the St. James Court Art Fair. I was walking down the sidewalk, trying not to shove people, to get to where she was, and she ran up and hugged before I even saw her. Love. It was an absolutely gorgeous day with just the perfect temperature, but right when she got there it started raining! Don't think that we let that stop us, heck no. We were adventurous drowned ladies. The fair was just wonderful as always and we were both inspired by what we saw on so many levels. And side note, I'm totally looking forward to hanging out in the Helton tent next year....(nudge nudge)

But the best, absolute best thing, was just spending an afternoon with someone that I was so comfortable with. I'm no slender reed, but with my surgery and being sick, I've put on a few pounds, my face is broken out and my hair is dull and more grey than not. Normally, I'd feel rotten about all that, especially meeting someone face to face for the first time, but I just didn't think about those things. I felt so comfortable being Robin with LeeAnn. And even better than the best, to be able to talk about things really matter, to talk with someone who shares your beliefs, about God, about family, about art.... We were able to converse about things that we felt, and understand, you know, in our hearts, without having to try to convince each other. And, sometimes without even finishing sentences...because lets face it...WE WERE AT AN ART SHOW...the ultimate distraction :)

I wish I had Diane's "my favorite part was everything" icon, because it truly applies. However, I'll give you a few of my hi-lights:
* that first hug
* conversations like "sometimes, you just can't put into words for people what....Oh look at those amazing trees!"
* the fact we could pick out things that were each others style, right off the bat
* telling her about meeting Robin & Hanna
* the shared love of trees
* random hugs and "i'm so happy to be with you's

I could keep going but I think you get the gist.


I think I wanted to say more, but my cough syrup is making me groggy....
I love you LeeAnn, and I love you my LJ friends. Even if I am sporadic, this blog has been such a blessing to me. And YOUR blogs have been such a blessing to me.

wet, cold, a bit tired, but happy!
me and becky

completely underwhelmed

I feel so let down. And I feel so guilty even saying it. But the time and energy and love and even pain invested into the friendships and family most of the Christians around me, I just feel like has come exactly full circle just like Covenant did. It doesn't make sense to anyone but me, and I'll get over it. I won't withdraw, I won't give in, I won't stop reaching out or being obedient. But at the moment, I feel so defeated and alone.

I am grateful for my blood relatives.